In which I attempt to advance my English writing skills from poor to mediocre.
We pay when old for the excesses of youth (but not this time)
Published on May 8, 2004 By dreamtime iliaster In Misc
It’s over. The statute of limitations expires today. In the beginning it was just another quarrel involving a circuit court judge, two kissing cousins, my great uncle, the unbearable lightness of being, and a Selectric: nothing out of the ordinary. We were young and stupid; we-can’t-let-them-get-away-with-this expressions of outrage led to an elaborate plan involving eggs, TP, and half a ton of pork. They had a security system that only protected the doors and windows – no cameras or motion sensors – so we figured they were practically asking for it. By the time we finalized our plan, the supermarket was closed, but Ace Hardware was open. One chainsaw and a couple of sledgehammers later we took back what was rightfully ours, spiked the Selectric, and ate their leftover chinese. We never did egg them, though.
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