We pay when old for the excesses of youth (but not this time)
It’s over. The statute of limitations expires today. In the beginning it was just another quarrel involving a circuit court judge, two kissing cousins, my great uncle, the unbearable lightness of being, and a Selectric: nothing out of the ordinary. We were young and stupid; we-can’t-let-them-get-away-with-this expressions of outrage led to an elaborate plan involving eggs, TP, and half a ton of pork. They had a security system that only protected the doors and windows – no cameras or motion sensors – so we figured they were practically asking for it. By the time we finalized our plan, the supermarket was closed, but Ace Hardware was open. One chainsaw and a couple of sledgehammers later we took back what was rightfully ours, spiked the Selectric, and ate their leftover chinese. We never did egg them, though.